Last reflection, I wrote about how everything we experience is Thought - even the things we hold as absolute truths. Today I would like to explore something even more fascinating (is that even possible?!) and probably a little challenging: What if we're not actually the "doers" or even the "thinkers" we imagine ourselves to be?
I know this, once again, sounds crazy - but that's only until it doesn't.
Think about how many times you've found yourself doing or saying something completely different from what you'd planned. You decide beforehand to remain calm and collected, yet suddenly you’re emotional, yelling, or crying. Or you promised yourself that you were going to 'put your foot down this time' and clearly state your boundaries, and then you hear yourself saying "yes" to doing that thing you were determined to say No to.
Did you consciously decide to do that? It maybe feels like you did, as if something happened to change your mind. But let's look at that.
Imagine making an actual "conscious" decision. To truly do that, you'd have to meticulously sort through every single past experience you've ever had. Imagine having to pull up every related memory, one by one, carefully examine each scenario, weigh all the possible outcomes, evaluate their consequences, compare them side by side, and the - and only then - make your decision. Choosing what to say in every moment would be torture - and it would take forever! Would you like to go shopping today or on Saturday? Well, let's see, the last time I went shopping on a Friday...It's impossible.
But that’s not how decisions happen. You don’t deliberately calculate and conclude that shouting is justified based on 'comprehensive analysis' - it just spontaneously erupts, usually surprising even yourself.
Again, no one consciously decides, "Hmm, after careful consideration of every conversation I've ever had with this person, after thorough analysis of all possible scenarios and outcomes, I've concluded that yelling at them right now is entirely justified." Of course not! That's just not how life works. You don't consciously choose to argue, react defensively, or suddenly change your mind - it simply happens, instantly and naturally.
Life happens spontaneously and constantly. You can't choose not to hear the sounds reaching your ears or not to see what's right in front of you. All your senses, your reactions, even your spontaneous words - they're just happening, effortlessly!
And what we don't see is that the thought will step in after the fact and it will tell you, it will confirm and it will repeat what just naturally occurred - as if it's the one in charge.
Even the simplest movements - like scratching your head - just happen, without you having to make a decision. And not only are you not actively choosing it - you don’t even have a clue about all the intricate processes actually involved in lifting your arm. Or standing, or sitting or swallowing your food....
And here's the beautiful thing about this realization: if there's no separate "you" micromanaging life, then there's also no "you" to blame, shame, or judge. Mistakes are seen as simple happenings - it is what occurred in that moment - it is not personal failures. Successes, too, become less about personal pride and more about recognizing the wonder and simplicity of life just unfolding through you.
But this isn't about dismissing responsibility. In fact, it's exactly the opposite - it invites an even deeper accountability,because when we become conscious of these spontaneous actions, we can question them. Every reaction, every behavior, every spontaneous word or action becomes a mirror - an immediate reflection of your conditioning, of what you are believing in the moment.
Every action and word reveals exactly what your system has learned and what your underlying beliefs are in that moment. When you start seeing this clearly, you become more responsive and attuned, you are able to notice these patterns without judgment, but with profound clarity. This deeper seeing is where true change naturally begins, because what was once unconscious now becomes conscious.
So my invitation this week is simple yet profound: Notice those spontaneous moments when life moves through you. Watch how quickly thought jumps in afterward to claim credit or assign blame. Then gently ask yourself: "Who made that happen? Where exactly was the decision made? What if this is simply life happening—beautifully, naturally, effortlessly?"
I've created a short video about this topic - not precisely as I've written here - but it points back to the same insight. but everything I talk or write about is really always about the same thing: THIS, right here, right now, unfolding perfectly. 😊
Much love,
Suzanne 🕊️
PS. If you find these short videos interesting, you can find more on my homepage.https://www.suzannelang.com/videos
Also, if you have joined the email list recently, you can find all of the previous reflections here: https://www.suzannelang.com/blog
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